Do You Know What Makes Me Angry?
Back To School.

Well it’s back to school time and it reminds me of the days when your teacher is like “Everyone take notes” which I think is fucking stupid because you are either trying to read his or her barely legible handwriting on a chalkboard and you have to deal with that annoying sound of the chalk hitting the board (just the thought of it makes me cringe). Or, you’re teacher busted out the old projector. The big ratty thing that had a 50 pound light bulb inside and that if you were next to it, you would get a sunburn making those hot summer days even more excruciating. Not only that if you were next to it, you are trying to hear what your teacher mumbles a-hoy is saying while the loud fan is whirring away. I could barely read what was on those blurry screens, even when I had glasses on!

Either way, you are there trying to take notes, you had your pens and your white-out. 
Fucking white-out, who in the fuck invented it? White-Out has to be one of the stupidest inventions ever, yet, people still buy it. You have 2 different types of white out, the one that looks like a nail polish bottle, and you apply a thin coat over your pen mistake, and wait an eternity for it to dry, only to notice that when you write on top of it, it makes these dry crusty crumbs and fucks your pen and your shit up. Not only that, the smell of white-out probably made you high as a kite. Then you get to your other white-out which is a strip, it works like a pen, but then you have this weird film left over, and then your boss is yelling “Why did you use ALL the white-out!” and I’m like “no, no I was just using a bit, but then the film came out and then the thing broke” and she’s all like ” You have to buy me a new one”.

Pencil’s and eraser to me, are still the best option, sure, if you make a mistake, you get covered in eraser dust, but it worked. Just as long as you brought your own pencil sharpener and not use that ratty thing they leave in the class room that doesn’t fucking work and whenever your teacher makes you take a test, it’s all quiet until little Jimmy goes to sharpen his pencil, you realize that a motorcycle is probably quieter than that fucking pencil sharpener. 

But now, on to the the cherry of my rage filled back to school rant… Mechanical mother fucking pencils. What in the tits is this monstrous invention? Like holy fucking shit, just typing the name mechanical pencil rages me. If I met the inventor of the mechanical pencil I’d kick him or her in the nuts or vagina. 

You are stuck in class, and you have braniac jones next to you, and you’re all like “dude, can I borrow a pencil” and this toolbox gives you a fucking mechanical pencil and says “Be careful with it” and the moment that super thin lead touches the paper with your angel soft hands it snaps. Then he goes “I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WITH IT!”. So you’re there, twisting off the eraser, taking a thing of lead (that you are trying not break with your fingers) and you are giving the pencil a handjob to try and get it to work again, only to have it fucking shatter into a thousand pieces all over your papers.

Now you know what makes me angry.